My moods are liken the skies...

The skies are grey.... My mood is too... There seems to be this dark cloud looming around in my heart... I hadn't been my chirpest or jolliest since my holidays started... well simple as that I AM BORED... B-O-R-E-D... Bored.... I feel as if I am allowing my life to waste away... Allowing it all to fade like the passing wind... Settling onto the next moment like the dust of life... I need a bit more spark in my life... Something to keep me busy and not allow me to think of my life as waste...

Actually I do have a lot going on for me now... Girls' Brigade... Humanitarian trip... Camps... Audition... So why o why am I feeling this bored??? The in between periods for all these are just too far apart I guess... I am bored in the in betweens... And everyone else having their exams does not help... I have no one to go out with... aRGH.... Lord I need a bit more meaning into this seemingly mundane life... I am ready to do things for You... To go that extra mile... Just use me Lord... Don't let me grow cobwebs and die.... Idle hands are sinful hands... So I don't want to idle too much Lord... I want more moments of activity... More More More... I want more more more... More of Jesus... Give me more to do Lord... I don't think I will ever tire myself... I know when to draw the lines... Lord help me do Your will...

The skies are raining... I feel like crying... Crying not because I want to... but I think I need to... Need to let all the steam out... Feel like dunking my head into the pool and let all my troubles melt away... I want to cry but I think I have forgotten how to... My tear ducts are not working as well as before... In the past I could switch it on or off based on my whims and fancy... But of late it has not been working... Am I sick?

Why am I so emotionless now? Am I becoming hardened and indifferent to the way things are around me? Why aren't my tear ducts working? Why am I not able to let my pent up emotions out? I feel choke... Suffocating... But I guess this is just me and my mood swings... They have been swinging with the weather when I am bored and doing nothing meaningful in my life... Should get down to reading and writing my plays... No inspiration... God send me Your muse... Let me write a God-inspired play that would glorify thy name...