Am like super early for school today... So here I am on the school com, typing out my entry... Been thinking about my schedule for the next few days... Think it is gonna be busy, busy, busy...
Today: Lessons till 4pm, be at Esplanade library at 4.30pm to continue my research, reach home about 7pm, do my homework till maybe 10pm, then QT till I fall asleep... Friday: Lessons from 9am to 5pm, Fever04 closure at TCT at 7.30pm... (Wondering what time I will reach home... Who will accompany me to go for fever04 closure? No one seems to wanna go... Hai~! Will be alone again...) Saturday: Attend a wedding at 2pm, Service at 5pm, Spend time with my friends after service till 10pm... Sunday: Driving at 11am, need to finish up research, the whole day gone...
Realised that I haven't been spending enough time with my friends... Been neglecting them... Gosh... I am not feeling good about this fact... Why am I so busy? Did I make myself to be so busy? Gosh... Thank God I dropped most of my extra-cirricular activities... No point...
Been looking and reflecting about this seemingly busy lifestyle I have... Heard a lot of people giving me comments like... "You are so busy, thank goodness I manage to catch you at so-and-so time..." "You are so busy, so capable, can handle so many things at one go..." I realised that I have this label on me now... "You are so busy..." or "You're such a busy person..." etc... Am I that unavailable? I mean, if you needed my time, I would most probably give you a moment or so... Why tag me with this busy-ness? Really need to reflect more on my schedules... Free up certain engagements..
But I have other things I wanna pick up too... So should I? Think I have been hearing God asking me to defer a year at school to serve Him... But then again, it could very well be that book I'm reading... Then I also wanna worship Him with more than just my voice... He has given me a gift of music... I can play quite a number of instruments... But I really wanna learn the guitar now... Felt very helpless when leading worship without guitar... Feel rather inadequate... I know it is not the technicalities that matters the most... But when leading worship, I do not want my lack of skill deter the others' ability to enter into God's presence... I don't want to be the hindrance, if I am leading worship I would much rather allow God to have free reign and lead me, than I have to rely what I am feeling from God to the guitarist... Sometimes the message gets lost... Cos I get the message and forget to pass it on to my guitarist... Haha... See I am so blur...
But despite all my inadequacies, God has provided the things to make them adequate... So praise be to God! Praise His name! His sweet sweet name... Need to go to class now... =P
No comments:
Post a Comment