Was quite upset today by my aunt's comments... All that she said about me... About the teachings of the church... About me not caring about my family... About me helping out in church... About me not knowing my family... All so unfounded and untrue... But I am still upset about it... Felt so accused... It was like there she is not seeing the full picture and with her warped perspective of what she sees she chides me... And worst she said I was like my mum... Running a way from the problem... Getting annoyed by her comments... I mean who won't? Throwing baseless accusations... So what if she is frustrated with my mum? That gives her no right to scold me for the things she think I didn't see... And me not wanting to offend her, cause I know I might say something rude back just kept quiet, and because of that she got even angrier at me and hung up the phone on me... It was so stressful talking to her that I simply just cried and cried... This is the first time in a very long time I felt so persecuted...
What she doesn't see, she accuses me of not doing... She doesn't realise that I am not helping out at the shop because I am working outside... She doesn't see the hardwork I am putting in to lighten my parents' financial load... She doesn't know the fact that I have opted out of missions this year because I wanted to obey my parents and show them that I care about them too... And the worst is she doesn't know why I didn't visit my brother in hospital... I didn't go home from camp the night when I receive the news because I didn't want my parents to worry and because my brother told me not to worry my parents... She didn't see how worried I was for my brother that I cried throughout worship and whenever I found myself alone... She didn't know how concern I was for my brother, fearing that he might commit suicide because he is depressed... Argh.... I simply felt so accused...
Wanted to call Mel... But she didn't answer her phone... Called Des and cried... Think I just simply burdened her with my problems... But I needed to cry... She had to go for her piano lesson... So left it hanging... Sigh... But later she sent me a sweet sms... Thanks Des... And thanks Jeff for the prayer...
Somehow nothing can be further from the truth... When there God's plans are working out perfectly... TEO will try to come and make you question if what you are doing is right... I know that my girls need me... And that there are greater works that will be brought to fruition... And because these things have yet to come to pass, TEO will come and try to steer you away from the goal... Listen up TEO... I will not falter... You may wanna come and try to put me down, but I will not let you... You are not bigger than MY GOD! So forget it... Get lost... I will rise up and stand strong... There may be times I wanna cry and I will cry... But after those tears are shed, I will come back even stronger... So it is war... And I know the heavenly angels will win... Cause My Lord is my Redeemer, Savious, Rock, Banner and Righteousness... He will bring the victory and the harvest will be harvested...
Before I started surfing the net, I went to the Lord in prayer... And after that I am at peace... I know that my Lord is good and His mercies endures forever... So I shall continue to pray and persevere on for my family's salvation... The Lord has dispelled all my fears and dried up my tears...
Ended up surfing the net and did some silly blogging quiz... Haha... Guess the internet is not that bad afterall... At least it took my mind off things and I had a good laugh... How true is this I dunno though...
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