Thursday, June 30, 2005

staying out late...

staying out late isn't anything unusual for me...
but the people whom i was staying out late with last night were special...
why do i say so?
well...
basically they are home-bodies...
the others in the group like Dex and Mel i've stayed out late with them before...
but the home-bodies like Von, Des and Jeff... these are surprises...
and it is special... haha... cos Von and Des prefer to stay home after 12...

it was a night of fun and laughter...
though i couldn't laugh... (every time i laugh, the headache that was plaguing me the whole of last night would throb...)
and the fact that i was losing my beautiful voice didn't help much...
but i had fun...
met Dex and Jeff at 5pm (the rest were all LATE... but nevermind they had their reasons... understandable...)
had dinner at this really homely place at some ulu shopping mall...
the food is really nice though...
i had baked fish... simply delicious...
then there was the really nice lady who made me the honey lemon drink with salt (which i had to pay $4.80 for...)
but it was good... for the rest of the evening i actually had my voice!!!
caught  War of the World at 7.15pm...
ate 2 handful of popcorn only... and then had to stop cos my voice was going again...
went to la teh at this kopitiam next to meridian hotel... i really la teh lor... hot one some more...
and  once again i couldn't find my voice... (blame it on the popcorn and my lack of self-discipline...)
after tea, went to play pool at K-Pool... (after all i only have a few days of holidays before i am in my final year... so i just hanged out lor... no chance when school reopen liao ma...)
Des is so funny...
Say she dunno how to play, but she like pro like that, just keep putting the balls into the pocket...
Very zai for someone who claims she can't play...
Von also very funny...
Keep saying cannot play cannot play... Also played very well for a first-timer...
Recall the times when my balls fly out of the table... Cue stick down go where... Von is really good for a beginner lor...
These two ladies, really 人不可貌像...
The most terrible thing would probably be the fact that i actually forgot to exchange back my IC!!!
Nevermind, Jeff gonna help me take... (So nice of him...)
That was basically wad i did last night...
It was fun hanging out till the wee hours of the morning with all of them especially Von and Des...

Slept at 3.30am... Woke up for work at 6.30am...
Ten years down the road and my body will scold me for doing such crazy things...
But for now, losing my voice is bad enough... Haha...


It is almost 3pm...
2.47pm to be exact...
Haven't had lunch yet...
Didn't have breakfast either...
Am so hungry...
My throat is still painful...
Dunno what i can actually eat...


Sunday, June 26, 2005

God's goodness...

God is really amazing and faithful...
(Duh statement I know... But ya He is!!!!)
My King never fails to provide me with me needs...
He has time and time again blessed me with abundance...
It is really true...
When we serve Him faithfully, giving Him our spoonful of faithfulness...
He will bless us with His shovelful of blessings...

His Providence

Just a week ago, I was panicking...
I had to pay my school fees last Monday and I don't know where all my money had gone...
At that point of time I was thinking I won't be getting my scholarship this year, cos the letter has yet to come notify me of anything...
I was panicking thinking I won't graduate by 2006... Haha...
So after a bit of fretting and a lot of prayers... (On my own and with support from my Spiritual sisters...)
I went to seek alternatives like paying in installments etc...
On Monday when I went to ask if I could make payment on a later date or pay by installments, I was told that there has been an extension of dateline for fee payment... (I had till that Friday...)
Then I asked about the scholarship and stuff, only to get answers like the board is still pending their decision...
So after bugging my school's Academic Admin...
I went off to wait... And pray some more...
Friday came and I was told to ask about installment plans at the finance department...
I inquired about the installment plan, explaining that I had done so previously...
Then a lady (think she the manager or supervisor) came and asked me if I had applied for the scholarships...
She then took my student pass and went to check her records of awardees...
To my pleasant surprise I had been awarded a scholarship of $1500...
It may not be much, but it is half of my fees already...
This means I had to pay another $780...
I asked about my pay... (Which incidentally have been taking forever to payout...)
It was quite a sum and tomorrow I simply need to pay about $200 to clear my fees for this semester...
I really thank God for His providence...
Time and time again, He showers me with His wonderful blessings...
Time and time again, He shows me that He is so ever faithful to His servants...
Time and time again, He allows me the priviledge to testify of His goodness...
Time and time again, He sees me through each moulding process...
Thank God that He allows me to tap into His powerHis deliverance, and His abundance...
Thank God that He only answers our prayers with the best... (Or as Des would say, "the bestest of best"...) 

 

 

 

Psalm 145: 16

"You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."

The Fast

Psalm 25:4

"Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths"

I did it... haha...
I did the fast... haha...
I think I am crazy...
It was not so much about me wanting to know if he is the
One...

It was more like I wanted to guard my heart...
I started out the fast telling God to let the feelings fade out if he is not His plans for me...
Right now the feelings have yet to fade, but I guess it is too early to tell...
Anyway, I did it not because I want a relationship out of it...
But because I know that my control over this area needs growing...
In the past, my heart would flutter in an instance if the guy is nice to me...
Now, I thank God for moulding me...
I am having a lot more control over this area now...
At least I can now see that the guy is genuinely nice to everyone not just me...
(something I would have been blinded to in the past...)
After the three days, I am coming out of it more at peace...
I am not anxious to get an answer...
Cos if it comes it comes...
If not then I just have to be patient and seek His plans...
Saw him yesterday, went out as a group...
No funny feelings...
No special feelings...
No awkwardness either...
I am probably not ready for God's answers...
But no longer am I anxious about it...
No longer am I troubled by this issue...
I did not enter the fast with any expectations...
I simply told God that I want to fast to hear His voice clearer in this aspect of my life...
To take out my voice from this aspect from my life...
The fast has taught me something...
Before the fast, I know that it is in God's hands....
After the fast, I still know that it is in God's hands...
The only difference is now I am not holding on to my own minute understanding...
But am now patiently awaiting God's reply...
Because I know that God knows everything I want to say before I even start the first sentence...

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord
Psalm 139:4

Final Thoughts

Simply need to come daily to God to seek His providence in every aspect of our lives...
If we ask, He will definitely open up the treasury in heaven and pour forth His blessings in our lives...
If there is a need, we simply need to call upon God to provide on a daily basis...
Because He is Abba Father, He will provide...
I am a daily testimony to His daily providence...

 

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

tired eyes...

my eyes are soring... facing the computer too much... but what to do... it's part of my job... sigh~!
why am i still blogging then? cos i got nothing better to do... haha...

...

freezing... been freezing since yesterday morning... is there something seriously wrong with me?
or have i been sitting in the office for too long...

...

went to K box with Zhengyuan, Kelvin, Yiting, Charm Cheong,  Vincent, this guy they keep calling " 彩紅夏日營 " and Zheng Yuan's female friend...  K Box is expensive... But whatever... Haha... I've the lifetime membership with K Box now... So until it winds up business, I can go on wednesday nights for free... Haha... But still I prefer the KTV places I frequent better... Haha...

okie... " 彩紅夏日營 " (let's just call him John... I think that's his name if I am not mistaken...) Gosh... he looks 19... but in actual fact he is 23... i couldn't believe it... and surprisingly we have mutual friends outside church... haha... i always thought that being in theatre, not many would have friends connected to each other... haha... my last impression of this guy was from tabernacle... he was changing the candles on the golden lampstand... and i was thinking to myself who is this "di di"... never see him before ma... so now we are acquainted... and i realised that he is not a "di di"... Haha...

...

stomach is growling... but i shall stick to my fast... i wanna put a stop to my emotions if it is not part of God's plans...
His ways are far greater than mine... so i shall fast and seek His ways and wait for Him to answer me...

...

cannot take it anymore... my hands are freezing... need to go out of this office and breathe in some warm air...

...

got bored and decided to do this quiz which Seah did... haha...

Your dating personality profile:

Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Conservative - You take a conservative stance on most issues and aren't shy about saying so. Your political views are an important component of who you are.
Your date match profile:

Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.
Traditional - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Religious
2. Big-Hearted
3. Conservative
4. Athletic
5. Adventurous
6. Practical
7. Traditional
8. Outgoing
9. Romantic
10. Wealthy/Ambitious

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Religious
2. Traditional
3. Practical
4. Big-Hearted
5. Adventurous
6. Athletic
7. Conservative
8. Romantic
9. Intellectual
10. Outgoing


Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

 




 

Monday, June 20, 2005

just being God chick...

feeling sad and happy... very mixed emotions within me...

sigh... it was weird sending them off to missions...
for the past 2 years, i've always been the one being sent off...
this time around i was sending them off... a little weird...
everyone keeps thinking that i am going... haha... 
having mixed emotions... 
am happy for them that they are going out to serve the nations...
yet sad cos i wanna go back and see the little children...
had to give instructions to bring toys to these little kids...
wondering if mel remembers... she has so many things to remember already...

was a little upset over the comments of me helping with the check-in...
made me felt like i was doing too much... sigh... whatever...
its just in me to help... so they can say whatever they want...
i shall continue to serve God's people whenever i can...
be it with little things like checking in...
or washing the toys clean so that i can give it to the little kids...
(the toys were sooooo WHITE and nice smelling...)
or simply doing errands or admin stuff...
i find joy doing it... and it serves God's purpose for that moment (i think)...
so i am just gonna toss out negative comments...
and just continue as i am...
love me or hate me... i dont really care...
all i care is taking care of the people God has placed around me...

said Happy Father's Day to my dad... a little awkward...
it had been a long time since i said these three words to him...
guess the last time was when i was in primary school...
really had to swallow my pride and just say it...
but i guess he felt loved by me... cos he was a little paiseh...
he simply said thanks and hung up... haha...
my dad aint the mushy mushy kinda guy...

there are a gazillion and one things to do this week...
went to give tuition today in the morning and then go to school for work...
meeting Zhengyuan and co for KTV session later in the evening...
(think i am going KTV a little too much...)
gotta go to the airport and fetch some austrialians on tues...
meeting Des and Charm on tues for a girls out session... (isssit still on???)
going to the airport again to fetch some international student on wed...
meeting Mag to simply catch up with her on wednesday for dinner...
having cell group this thursday... (which reminds me i haven't prepare the word...)
need to take friday off to get the uniforms for the GB girls and settle some stuff...
and then go for GB parade...
working for Vpact on sat... meeting NY that evening... (i think...)
working at office on sun...

gosh when will i finish packing my room?!?!?!

oh ya... please keep me in prayer... need to pay school fees by 24th...
dunno where all my money went... (guess my pay haven't come in...)
so got no moolah to pay my fees...
pray that i get my scholarship from school... they are still pending...
thanks...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

The Lord is my Banner...

Was quite upset today by my aunt's comments... All that she said about me... About the teachings of the church... About me not caring about my family... About me helping out in church... About me not knowing my family... All so unfounded and untrue... But I am still upset about it... Felt so accused... It was like there she is not seeing the full picture and with her warped perspective of what she sees she chides me... And worst she said I was like my mum... Running a way from the problem... Getting annoyed by her comments... I mean who won't? Throwing baseless accusations... So what if she is frustrated with my mum? That gives her no right to scold me for the things she think I didn't see... And me not wanting to offend her, cause I know I might say something rude back just kept quiet, and because of that she got even angrier at me and hung up the phone on me... It was so stressful talking to her that I simply just cried and cried... This is the first time in a very long time I felt so persecuted...

What she doesn't see, she accuses me of not doing... She doesn't realise that I am not helping out at the shop because I am working outside... She doesn't see the hardwork I am putting in to lighten my parents' financial load... She doesn't know the fact that I have opted out of missions this year because I wanted to obey my parents and show them that I care about them too... And the worst is she doesn't know why I didn't visit my brother in hospital... I didn't go home from camp the night when I receive the news because I didn't want my parents to worry and because my brother told me not to worry my parents... She didn't see how worried I was for my brother that I cried throughout worship and whenever I found myself alone... She didn't know how concern I was for my brother, fearing that he might commit suicide because he is depressed... Argh.... I simply felt so accused...

Wanted to call Mel... But she didn't answer her phone... Called Des and cried... Think I just simply burdened her with my problems... But I needed to cry... She had to go for her piano lesson... So left it hanging... Sigh... But later she sent me a sweet sms... Thanks Des... And thanks Jeff for the prayer...

Somehow nothing can be further from the truth... When there God's plans are working out perfectly... TEO will try to come and make you question if what you are doing is right... I know that my girls need me... And that there are greater works that will be brought to fruition... And because these things have yet to come to pass, TEO will come and try to steer you away from the goal... Listen up TEO... I will not falter... You may wanna come and try to put me down, but I will not let you... You are not bigger than MY GOD! So forget it... Get lost... I will rise up and stand strong... There may be times I wanna cry and I will cry... But after those tears are shed, I will come back even stronger... So it is war... And I know the heavenly angels will win... Cause My Lord is my Redeemer, Savious, Rock, Banner and Righteousness... He will bring the victory and the harvest will be harvested...

Before I started surfing the net, I went to the Lord in prayer... And after that I am at peace... I know that my Lord is good and His mercies endures forever... So I shall continue to pray and persevere on for my family's salvation...  The Lord has dispelled all my fears and dried up my tears...


Ended up surfing the net and did some silly blogging quiz... Haha... Guess the internet is not that bad afterall... At least it took my mind off things and I had a good laugh... How true is this I dunno though...

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Busy busy me...

Okie... Been a while since I last blogged I guess... Haha... Am so busy of late... First it was my birthday party... Then there was the GB camp (which I would love to elaborate on...) Then work is like busy busy now... Haha... My colleague was just saying how amazed he is at me being able to juggle so many things... And that I look so busy, and the fact that I am actually busy... Haha... Do I?

Well... Must say that I am very glad to have been part of the GB camp... Though I was probably off my tangent throughout the camp... Could have done away with me screaming at the girls... Was rather out of control the first two days... Finally mellowed down on the second evening... Was looking back and reflecting why on earth I was so mad at these girls... I have came to a conclusion... There is a major stress management area in my life I need to seriously grow in... The stress of the camp, logistics, girls not responding, girls giving you that papaya face, my brother being in hospital with suspected gastric cancer... Guess the last item freaked me out and push me over the edge...

But through the camp, I have learnt to focus on just making the girls are okay... I mean, I literally fought back tears to get things prepared... I was basically okay, until the orienteering when I just lost my strong countenance and just broke down... Guess the girls were probably wondering how come this ma'am so weird one... One moment she is screaming her head off and the other she is crying like mad... But I seriously couldn't be bothered how the girls saw me... Think it is also part of God's plan that I actually showed my vulnerable side to some of the GB girls... Afterall, I am not that strong... They were probably too puzzled to wonder why I was crying... But who wouldn't cry knowing that your brother is in the hospital, having just puked blood, and the doctor diagnosed that it might be gastric cancer and it might result in a stroke... I just got so frightened at the thought that I might lose my brother that I just cried and cried... I went back to Daniel Hall to get my stuff.. But was too distraught to go back to the campsite and do mass tin cooking with the girls... So I asked Melissa for permission to stay for the opening ceremony of Tabernacle...

At the opening ceremony, I simply just kept crying... Throughout worship, I would sing the songs and end up crying...  Pastor William came over and prayed over me... This was probably the only time I have every cried so much... I stopped only when Pastor William started speaking... The only break I got from crying was probably when Pastor William and Pastor Debra spoke... Then when Pastor William gave the first altar call to receive healing, I went down for my brother's sake... I cried and cried... Told Pastor Debra about what happened... Then went back feeling alot better... Then there was the second altar call for the leaders... I went down again... Cried again... Got slained by the Holy Spirit and bumped my head on the floor... Felt a whole lot better... Then went back to my seat, cried abit more... Got slain again this time along the aisle... And as usual, my hair got stepped by someone... And I was in a totally awkward position... But I felt the Holy Spirit doing His work... So was finally at peace by the end of the service...

After the service, found myself having to go back to the campsite alone... So decided that I shall look for a ride from the BB boys' bus... Went to ask Jeff if I could... Then he did the thing I never thought he would... Haha... He offered to walk me back instead... Haha...  Along the way, was telling him that he should show this nice side of him more often... To which he replied... "Not everyone should see my nice side... If not got alot of rumours... " I guess it is quite true... But I feel that if one is sincere and genuine when treating people, there should be no rumours... And even if there is any, it is simply because people know this person would probably be unaffected by it all...

On Saturday we had kayaking for the GB girls... If not for the GB girls, I doubt Von and Fiona would enter the waters with the risk of probable capsize... But anyway I think Von and Fiona love the girls and care for them enough to put aside their fears and go kayaking with them... I was basically quite pissed at the instructor who did not teach the girls how to use their oars... So the girls all end up all over the sea... Haha... I had to undertake the task of teaching some of the girls to use the oar... Sigh... Got darker... And tired... Being water confident (despite being unable to swim)... I was guiding the girls who felt sick back to the shore half way through the session... Then I rowed back all the way to join the rest... Totally exhausted myself by the end of it... I guess, I am not that bad... Am actually quite sporty... Can kayak, roller blade, ice-skate, cycle... Haha... And I have better stamina than the younger girls.. Haha... Always thought I was leading a rather unhealthy life... Haha...


Went for tabernacle that evening... Brought the girls into the Tabernacle... Surprised by their reactions... Found Mag, Charmaine and Annabel outside at the Outer Courts... They knelt at every "station" for a long time... Prayed for them when the Holy Spirit prompted.. They all cried and looked really burdened... Asked them to share when they came out... But they were quite mum about it... Prayed for them and Charmaine and Magdalene cried... Mag was crying so hard.. It made me wanna cry with her too...


After I send Mag to the carpark to meet her dad... Went back to the GB girls.. Was told drill competition was in a few minutes time and I was to change into my boots... We marched, and the officer contingent won... But of course... We had to teach these girls... So somehow, we had to be at our best... My coy lost to the other coy and the girls were quite disappointed... It was like written all over their faces, after the results were announced... But still I am very very proud of these beautiful girls... They didn't complain throughout the camp... They may be a little nua nua but when they get really motivated, they can be really realy zai... These girls are indeed stars... They have the potential to burn so brightly... They just need the right motivation...

After drill comp, I changed out of my boots and wanted to go do my solitude... But prior to that, Jeff stopped me and asked me and Weicong to help him decipher the vision he saw while in the Tabernacle... It was burning too much of my brain juice... Haha... Then we started talking... And I didn't do my solitude until 3am... As I walked along the beach, singing worship to God... God showed me a verse, which at this moment I simply can't recall... Haha... At about 3.30am I entered the Tabernacle alone... And fell asleep at each stop... Fell asleep at the brazen altar, bronze lever, golden lampstand and altar of incense... I wanted to seek God to heal my brother and ask Him what His plans are for me, but I simply couldn't do it... I only lasted a few minutes and fell right into sleep for about 20 minutes at each stop... Gosh... I felt soooo bad... Then I finally moved to the Holy of Holies, before the Ark of Covenant... And I slept till 7.30am... I think this Tabernacle experience, the Lord wanted me to rest in Him... Cos I was so energised by the time I woke up... I have been too busy for the Lord... I like my time of solitude, must do it more often... Heehee...

During the closing message for the GB camp, Melissa told the story of the prodigal son... To which, the GB girls responded and 4 more girls responded to accept the Father's love in their lives... Amen... Now most of the GB girls in sec 1 have indicated that they are open, with the exception of probably the muslim girl... But I know God has a plan for each girl and it is unique... All the officers' task is to love them and show them GOd's love... I must say, this camp brought me to see the girls in a different light... Totally changed my view of them... No longer are they the nua nua lembeh lembeh girls... They are now strong and shining stars...

That afternoon, we had lunch at Roland's restaurant... And we sat with Pastor William... Gosh... So scary... Haha... But we had fun... Heehee... Then Von had to go point out that I am sitting directly across to someone on the next table... Tsk tsk... Didnt even notice lor... Haha... But anyway I was more interested in Faith... Was playing with her throughout the bus ride from ECP to Roland... Then when she finished her lunch, was playing with her again... Haha... Guess when it comes to kids vs guys... Kids always gain my attention more... Was totally exhausted by the end of the closing ceremony of Tabernacle... There was no long word, but there was a great time of worship... Which by the end of it, I over exerted my ligaments and muscles... Had a sharp pain at the back of my right knee and pain at my right ankle... Ended up limping... And the guys were like "Regina what happened to you?" Chen An or was it Samuel who commented that "3 days of roughing out at camp and when I worship I injure myself..." Somehow I think people are used to the fact that this would always happen... Haha... But was so tired, that I forgot about the ice-box!!!!! Until the next morning when I was brushing my teeth did I realised my folly... Panicked... Called everyone I could to help... Then Dellia told me to check Roland restuarant to see if it was there... Thank God it was and I went to claim it back that evening after work... How blur I can be... Haahaa...

Helped with missions packing yesterday... It was alot of work for many of them... Packing, loading, distributing... I had the relaxing job of purchasing stuff... Not exactly that relaxed, as I had to make sure that the other two were on schedule with me... And having a person who tries to stretch my time limit is really stressful... He happens to be able to be not punctual for practically everything he does... Sigh... He needs to grow in the area of not trying to juggle too many balls at the same time if not able to... He like to multi-task to disastrous results... Bottomline... Men just simply can't seem to multi-task... Probably over generalising, but seriously speaking, I have yet to see a man multi-task... They simply aint wired that way... Well at least he isn't wired that way...

That Jeff... Was just thinking I should really treat him nicer, when he decides he shall tease me about a certain someone... So learning to ignore him for now with regards to the teasing... I simply dont get it... Everyone else has stopped... But he is always half a beat late... Sigh... But seriously speaking, I am beginning to see the better side of him... The more gentlemanly side... No longer the boy-boy side...

Was reading through my friend's blogs... And did this personality test... Think it describes me quite well... Dunno about the balanced part... But how much can an online test be true I really dunno... You be the judge...

You Have A Type A- Personality
A-
You are one of the most balanced people around Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you. When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds
 
Reading the book Daniel gave me... God Chicks... Really speaking to me... Haha... Books nowadays are speaking to me more than they were before... Is it the maturity that is coming with age? I dunno... But am definitely getting more books that I am able to apply to my life better...
This is getting too long... Better stop liao...

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

My 21st Pink Party...

I've turned 21!!!! Had my pink party... The food was great... But of course...  My mummy is such a great cook... The party turn out was rather good given that it is a weekday... The cake was fantastic... Of course, cos I've always had great taste.. Everything turned out quite fine... And I did enjoy myself...

Having a party is one stressful event though... Especially when most of the things needed to be done is like done by myself... I thank God for the help that came along the way... Melissa did quite a bit... Brought the camera... Put out some "fires"... And the help from Lydia is like rather major... She did the nice e-invite... Brought camera to take photographs... Then there is Daniel who took the camera from Lydia and just started snapping wildly... Haha...

There is of course my spiritual family (immediate [ladies] and extended [guys]) to thank for... The "fires" my spiritual sisters had to put out... The help some of my spiritual brothers rendered (automatically or hinted)... I cannot say thank you enough...


The guys who came to my party were of much help... Haha... My cousin's boyfriend was so concerned I wasn't eating the food that he took a plate of food and made sure I ate... Then of course there are the spiritual brothers who mostly surprised me... Haha... Throughout the night, Melvin kept asking me to not be so busy... Haha... That I should be enjoying my party... I was pleasantly surprised when Yinghan and Melvin volunteerily helped me gather the people, cut the cake et cetra... Then there was Dex who helped me give out the cakes... And he passed me my own cake to ask me to eat... I was like thinking shouldn't I be the one giving you the cake? Haha... When Jeff came to help me drink the second drink my brother mixed cos no one else would, I was pleasantly surprised too... Weicong was so concerned about me getting drunk... Haha... Told me not to drink if I couldn't take it anymore... He of course doesn't know that I am a girl who holds her liquor very well... Haha... Seriously, the guys ain't half as bad as we sometimes say they are... They just need the opportunity to allow their gentlemanliness (is there such a word?) shine...

My spiritual sisters are of course helpful too... They did the things no one really notice... Like when Daeyna stormed out... Shirong was crying... Et cetra... The "fires" they had to put out...

Some guys are simply put, too good to be true... Haha... But of course they do have areas of growth that need to be addressed, but on the whole, they are the kinda guys girls are looking out for... The gentlemanly, quietly doing things backstage without a need for anyone to notice...
Weicong, helped me entertained my little cousin Keith (who everyone found soooo cute...) the whole evening... His concern for me getting drunk was just as a spiritual brother ought to... And then during the prayer, he was again asking the rest not to dunk me with flour... He is as a spiritual brother should be... Always protecting fellow sisters from danger...
Dex, did a lot of little things I think... Things that others have pointed out... Apart from helping me distribute the cake... He other things like sweeping the floor of the mess my cousin made... Sweeping the floor of the flour my spiritual family dunk on me... Drove my spiritual sisters to the MRT station (and getting lost while coming back)... He probably did more than I did see... When we went out after the party, he had no qualms about having an overloaded car... Haha... When we went for supper (or should I call it breakfast since it was at 4am)... And I went to foot the bill, got scolded by him... Haha... Rather MCP I feel... He then drove us all back home, though he had to meet Nigel at 1pm... This guy is too nice... Ditto to what Des said... He is really a genuine guy, with no hidden agenda...
These two guys are probably the kinda we can term Godly guys... Man after God's heart... And ditto to what Yvonne said... They should write a module in SOL to teach boys to become men... Haha...

The gifts I got were rather similar throughout...
Gabe gave me a basketful of Lavender scented toiletries from Crabtree & Evelyn...
My cousin gave me shower gel and lotion from Body Shop...
Daniel gave me the book God's Chick... A book that I have been wanting to buy...
Weikang gave me the book The Essential C.S. Lewis... A very very thick book...
Yiting's cell gave me a pink striped bag...
Dex gave me a very loud pink bag, a red cross choker like necklace...
Winston a silk scarf (which he kept asking me to model it)...
Elissa, Jennifer, Peiyi, Seokie gave me a red necklace...
Simin, Mingjie and Elise gave me a blue necklace...
Alicia gave me a pair of orange earrings...
The ladies from my subzone gave me a pair of pink earrings and pink skirt (which sad to say, the bottom to stripes of lace tore when I washed it... I'm so sad)...
Weicong gave me perfume from DKNY Be Delicious...
My brother's girlfriend gave me perfume from Body Shop...
Dale, Sean and Lydia got me $30 Heeren shopping voucher... (eh u guys noe me well enuf to get me a present lor!)

Pastor Debra gave me $20 taka shopping vouchers...
Kai gave me a handmade brooch and Royce chocolate...

Shang, Bingkai and Mark gave me WOW #1s...
Melvin and Yinghan bought me this huge matchstick...

My aunt gave me an ang pow...
And so did Melissa's mum...
I think that's all of the presents... Thank God for them... Cos some of these things are stuff I won't buy for myself cos I would have rendered them useless to me at the price that I am going to pay... But nevertheless, these presents made me feel loved... haha... Be it the lack of taste in it (for the presents that some of the guys bought)... Or the total knowing what I need gifts that I got... Makes me feel loved, cos it is afterall the thought that counts...

Shall stop blogging liao... Think it's too long... Haha...

here's the pictures...

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Divine Dance...


 



Finally... I found the book I was looking for!!! The Divine Dance by

Shannon Kubiak... I found it alas! Really like what she wrote in this book... Read about

half the book already... Though was suppose to be preparing for cell... Preparing for

everything else... I thank God I can find time to read this book... It's about dancing the

one true dance we all are suppose to dance for our Lord... Like the way she puts

everything together... It makes me think about the way I live...


Too often a times, I would like to please everybody around me... Seeing them happy

makes me happy... Too often a times, I forget that I only need to look to pleasing one

person only... GOD... I thought that meeting the needs of others, making them happy

is what God wanted no doubt... But He wants me to worship Him, not please the

world... I have too often a time forgotten my true calling... I get myself so busy and

think that I am serving Him... I enjoy making all that I do worship unto Him... Yet I know

full well that it is not what He desires... He desires my obedience... To obey His voice...

To rest when He says so and to do the things He says to do... He desires my obedience...

To worship Him and pray on my knees... His ways are far greater than mine...  And like a

story I read the other day... The story is called Pushing the Rock... I am reminded that

God's ways are beyond our understanding...



Pushing the Rock...

God was talking with a man and asked him to go to this rock and push on it. For years

the man did what God asked him to do and continued to push on the rock.

One day, the devil came up to this man and said "look at you, you are pushing this

rock but it is going nowhere, it hasn't even moved an inch." Thus the man started to

have doubt and prayed to God and asked him why the rock is not moving. He said that

he was faithful in pushing the rock but nothing is moving. Then God answered,  "I told

you to push the rock, not move it. Look at the muscle that you gain from pushing on the

rock all these years, the strength that you gain. I have someone else planned to move

the rock, your purpose was to push on it."



This story reminded me that sometimes, as I pray, no matter how long and hard, He is moving

the mountains... That God just want me on my knees longer... So that I get stronger knees...

So that with the strengthen knees, I can dance the Divine Dance for Him... I basically need to stop

dancing to the rhythm of the world... And be more in tune with God's rhythm for me...




Thursday, June 02, 2005

happy... tired... peeved...

been going out almost everyday after work the whole of this week... was out at Orchard on sat... Orchard on sun... Orchard on mon... Orchard on tues... Orchard again on wed... i need to stop it... haha... n i need to go find my own space! been seeing the same person consecutively for the pass 3 days... need a break... i shall go shopping ALONE today after work since it my only alone time today... shall spend my evening with my Lord today...

was talking to Von on the phone yesterday... i have given up reading ppl's mind... so i asked her wad she wanted for her birthday... we were simply talking and laughing... the conversation lasted an hour i think... this farnie girl... while i waited for charm to end work, i saw julian... so went to say hi for a split sec with von still on the line... so von asked who i saw yadayada... told her julian and she asked if i invited him to my party... dunno lei... should i??? anyway, i asked her wad she wanted, and i remembered wad des said on sun... that von would like this kinda shoes... and von kept saying she dunno wad she wan... so i asked her if she wanted anything apart from a piano... den i told her wad i saw with des and wad des said that sun... how it is so von... and von went but its expensive for a pair of school shoes... so i said i'll paint a pair for her... and she went how she preferred being made stuff den bought... so i thought settled... but apparently it was a bad move huh? cos after reading des' od i probably quashed her chance to surprise von... i dunno la... i havent been doing anything right of late with anyone... but it made me realised that the ppl i tot i noe, i dont...

i simply dont know u... no matter how much time i spend with you (or for the matter of fact how little)... i could never seem to understand u... sometimes, i thought i know wad u want... but it turns out i m wrong... i m sorry that i dashed ur chance to show her how much telepathy there is between the 2 of u... realised that no matter wad i do, it is always wrong... i m tired of it all... tired of reading ur mind... i m no psychic... n i dont have telepathy with u...

okie y is my entry getting depressive... lemme brighten it up... sigh...

on sat... bought Gwen's b-dae prezzie... bought a hot pink halter top from Fox...
on sun... bought small stuff... a scarf, a foot petal, a pink flower hair accessory...
on mon... went looking for pink and silver balloons found none...

on tues... went to look for that book i wanted, but it is sold out...
on wed... bought earrings... body scrub... nail polish remover...
on thurs... wondering wad i will buy today... haha...

Edric sounded like he's gonna buy me an iPod shuffle for my birthday... haha... Edwin said he'll colour my hair for me before my birthday... sweet brothers i have...

Some people have been asking me wad i want for my birthday... I realised like Von, everything i wan no one can really afford it... but everything else i dont need... so guess i m actually a simple sentimental person... dont gimme anything that can be worn out... i just wan something i can probably keep forever... haha... sentimental fool i am... sigh...