Shall stop being negative...

Something Von asked me yesterday strucked me... It made me realise how much negativity the computer and internet have... Realised too that I ramble on about my good and bad times... And somehow, never really gave it much thought on how much it does affect others... Woah~! Words do have great impact on people... So from this day on I guess, I won't be grumbling about life anymore... I mean after all, we are to give thanks in all circumstances... And I just wanna thank God for all the moulding He has put me through.... I believe I have come out stronger than before... All these not so wonderful times are planned by Him to build me up, so I should not sulk and grumble la... Hee hee!

Went for GB last friday... Guess I scared the girls by my shouting... These girls ah, need to learn to be quicker and less dilly dallying about... But anyway, these girls are still adorable... Eunice, Mag, Ai Shang, Jieying, Ziyi, Annabel and even the not very tactful Joanne were pretty sweet... Xiaofen was still as blur... But having not seen them for almost 2 months, it made me wonder how much I have missed out watching these girls grow... Well, God has His perfect ways... I think I am not constantly available for GB on Fridays so that I could go down and play the disciplinarian role when I have my holidays... So I do hope that when I have my holidays next May-June period, I could really go down and serve... But going down for GB made me realise that I do miss serving the Lord through serving His daugthers or daughters-to-be... Oh, the lives that would be transformed by Him and I miss seeing the miracles at work... Guess not many are priviledged to see that many miracles working... I will in time see my own ones when He deems fit...

Then there was BOTC over the weekend... The ladies are such wonderful living testimonies... I remember there was a time when FAW exco always referred the exco of the Alumni as the old women... But then, looking at these wonderful old ladies, I felt so ashamed that I even referred the older women so irreverently... Sigh~! Anyway, Mrs Tay, Deputy Brigade Commissioner, is one amazing woman... So is also taking care of the West Zone one contact we need to build relationships with to help the 46th Coy grow stronger... After all, she is one amazing woman who is part of the 1st Coy... Then there was Ms Hee, Brigade Commisioner, who gave a talk on leadership 101... She just had a cataract operation and was in recuperation mode, but she chose to come and give her all... What she said about us having the priviledge to be chosen by God to touch the girls' lives made me feel so, so... Words cannot describe it, but it is beyond feeling honoured and special... It was a very loved moment kinda... Haahaa... Dunno how to describe la... Then there was Mrs Sally Chew... She has 6 children, has a full fledge career and is the Singapore's Brigade President and Vice-President for the International GB... She is just one amazing woman... Being in the presence of so many godly wonderful ladies, I can just simply say that I am ultra blessed... God is just so amazing... And now, I am even more determined to go and build up the lives of the girls and my cell members... I learned so much during this camp and boy am I glad I went for it...

Now I need to build up the talents and skills that God has blessed me with... So that I can in turn bless those around me... ;)

I don't I don't

I will so not go to another movie with WPJ & Co. anymore... These people... Argh!

Well, the whole story sorta went a bit like this... Des, Von, WY and I were sitting happily by the big steps of Bt Merah... We were star gazing, not as if there were much stars to gaze at, but yeah we were... And sorta looking for verses in the bible with regards to STARS... Then Von's phone rang... And WPJ was on the other side telling her that there were two abandoned tickets, because two people played them out... So he was coercing Von to go down with someone else to fill up those seats... So that the 2 tickets would not go to waste... Von turned him down... Cos afterall, it was the local film - I do I do... Then des' phone rang, WPJ again... Having failed to convince Von, he decides to try on Des... Haha... Anyway, Des was like saying cos there's the four of us, unless they get another 2 tickets and they pay for all 4 of these tickets, we won't be going... So WPJ agreed... And end of conversation... But soon enough, Von's phone rang again... This time WPM... He called to say yeah we'll pay the 4 tickets etc, etc... Then up came our next demand, that the 4 girls are seated together... So he agreed... So happily, we got on a cab and went to Suntec for the movie... Though it was a local movie, we went anyway, cos the guys said they were paying... When we reached there, WPM was not there... The guys made some comment that he was at City Hall or something... So he'll be late... So up came the question of how on earth did these guys managed to call us one after another and seemingly on the same topic... Gosh... But anyway, I told Samuel about the seating arrangement condition that was stated so that we would come... So they gave us seats that allowed us to seat together, so far so good... Things turned out not so good after the movie... Not only was the movie not worth the $8.50 price tag, cos I laughed a lot more during SP's sermon... These WPs actually forgot the deal... And we ended up paying Samuel $8.50 each for a movie that we would not have watched if it was not on the condition that it was F.O.C... So much for being true to your words... I felt bad for Samuel cos he wasn't the one who strike the deal with us... But WPJ stands next to Samuel and sees us paying for the tickets and did not utter a single word with regards to the initial deal... That caused us all to go into regret mode... Why oh why did we leave our windy big steps, with free entertainment to go watch a crappy show? Why oh why did we do that?

Anyway, it's not the money that I bear not to part with... Afterall, $8.50 is just $8.50... But it just make me realised what celibre of guys we are surronded by... Somehow... These guys do need to shape up alot... I know... We girls have our work cut out for us too... But I mean... Hello~! You striked a deal, and then not taking up the responsiblity to own up to it... That's just PISH POSH... Anyway I shan't think about changing you guys, cos WPs will flare up at me if I ever point out their weaknesses... They are not man enough to face up to their inadequecies... I know it cos there was once I push the barriers too much and got snapped at by WPJ...

Maybe, just maybe... Only when the fat lady sings, will these kind of men change for the better... But for the mean time, these guys never fail to just bring their market value to a new low... Sometimes I wonder, why is it that we listen to the same sermons, but somehow the things we girls catch, you guys seem to let it just fly pass you... Is it simply because Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars? Oh... Wadeva!

Quick update & Thanksgiving...

Been kinda tired lately... Dunno why, but I seem to be lacking sleep! I am so sleepy right now... But working in school is kinda fun at times... Well at least not today... I had to go vacuum 2 video studios that are relatively dirty... Video studio 1 was horrible... I spent almost a full hour in there I think... The state of dirtiness it is in... Gosh, I developed a case of bad rashes cleaning out that freaking place... So after cleaning it up, I immediately went to wash up... Then proceed to Video studio 2, which thank God, no mess... I only needed to vacuum up the floor... Haha... So after cleaning, I went back to the office, then my colleague asked why I didn't tell our manager that I'm super allergic to dust... Silly me... But I was thinking, if I don't do it then who will? I am afterall, the most junior staff... I am merely an assitant technical support officer... Which means I only lock up doors... I was feeling quite bad that the school is paying me $5/hr for me to sit around and play games online... Haha... Anyway, I'm still itching from the dust...

Tomorrow is the show day for Spilt Gravy On Rice... It's an in-house production, which means invited guests only... I dun think I'm ready as yet, so sorta didn't invite anyone... But those reading it... If you happen to read it before 6pm on 17 Feb, do come down and give your dear friend support... Haha... Two shows... 4pm and 7pm... I am getting a little nervous... Haven't gotten all my lines down... Anyways, I think we pissed our director off and he decided to cut the play down form 2hrs to just 1hr long... Anyway, I am praying that the show would go well... Cos we've got a tough act to follow up to the 1st and 3rd years... Normally, it would be the 3rd year's showing, followed by the 2nd year's then the foundation year... But this time it has been mixed up a little... So yeah, the 2nd years are presenting after the foundations... I must say Claire Devine did a fantastic job with the foundation year, their show was short, sweet and engaging... It wasn't something I had expected out of this batch of foundation year students... But they did a wonderful job for their show tonight... I am amazed...

Friday is LASALLE-SIA's open day... I am ushering and I have class too... And I have a Shakespeare presentation that day... Lady Macbeth... I think I am doing just fine... Getting her in character well... And my Shakespeare lecturer likes what he sees... So ha, think I will nail this one... ;)

Anyway, I am seriously looking forward to the break coming next week... I have quite a bit of catching up to do and I think the days off would help me getting all my paper work done... But still have workshops Monday through Wednesday... Thank God it did not stretch to Friday... So can go down and do drill with the GB girls... Then the weekend I'll be at BOTC... He is just amazing... He has everything planned out so nicely... Had there been classes next week, I doubt I can make it for BOTC... But His plans are so perfect... =)

Chinese Bible very cheem...

Praise be to God!!! My mummy accepted Christ!!! Yay!

Well just as you wonder how it happened, I think it was quite miraculous! Haha... Last Saturday evening, was suppose to go for reunion dinner at my 3rd uncle's house... How I dread these dinners... All my 3-8 aunty would do at these kinda dinners is ask stupid questions like "So why never bring your boyfriend back?" "I thought your brother says you got boyfriend?" "Aiyo so old already still don't have? How can?" Like I would bring my boyfriend back for reunion dinners and like I have the time for boyfriends right now... She just don't understand la... That's why I dread such family reunions...
Anyway back to my mother... I skipped the dinner because I said I was working at church... I worked that afternoon but not that evening, anyway just had dinner with Yvonne and Desiree... Then after dinner, I was sitting with the gang at the big steps... When I received a sms message that my mum is in hospital... Alexander Hospital... Very near church so I wenti... Anyway to cut the long story short, I got a whole load of nagging from my 2nd uncle, who ain't very helpful, explain later... Then my mum was warded on her request... 1st time I hear her saying she wanna stay in the hospital... Anyway, after my uncles left, I was alone with my mum... Was asking her to give God a chance to heal her, told her how Jesus came to heal the sick and read her relevant bible passages from the NT... Then I asked her if she wanted to accept Jesus as her saviour, who died for her sins and who would bring healing... Then she was going on about how undeserving she is to have God die for her... Then I went on again quoting passages on how Jesus came to save the sinners not measuring how good we are or how worthy we are before we can be saved... Anyway, in the end she did say the sinner's prayer... I realised how lousy my chinese has become... I couldn't say the sinner's prayer in Mandarin! Gosh... So we tried saying it in English, which got interrupted halfway by the nurse who wanted to chase me out of the ward... Then my father came back and in a very rushed ending, we closed the prayer... My father would have screamed at me knowing I converted my mother... But yeah my mum accepted Christ!!! Praise the Lord!!!

Later at my uncle's house, where we did eventually end up for reunion dinner, I tried to hint to my father that mummy has converted... Haha... Guess he didn't catch it or he chose to ignore it... Anyway, whatever... I am so happy my mummy is saved!!! Well... Bought her a bible on monday... Chinese bibles very cheem... I didn't realise that there were so many versions... Gosh... Got her the cheaper, bigger font size version... They called it He he ben, apparently it is used in most churches... Not too sure though... Just praying very hard my mum reads the bible as she promised she would every morning... Got her devotion helps too... 40 days for a new believer in mandarin... She actually scolded me for wasting money and said that some of the words she also never see before... But I just told her to give me a chance to be filial... And she laughed... Well that's all for now... Until she gets discharged from the hospital, I won't be able to bring her to church... Trying to convince her to go for the 8am service on Sundays... It is in English though... But I think that's the best time for her... Knowing she is such a workaholic... Well, still perservering on in prayer for my father and brothers... When will they come to know the Lord? God in your time... I know in Your time...

Thank God for the various salvations of late that I have witnessed and brought to say the sinner's prayer with.. God You are just so good...

PARACETAMOL...

Sometimes I feel as if I'm living in a different world from others...
I feel lost and rather alone...
Is it just me or are things no longer the same?
It seemed as if I have left all my friends behind...
Or have they moved on and left me behind...
I dunno...
It is all a whirlwind of confusion...
I am having a headache from all these catching up I need to do...

Isn't it weird that you are my so-called friends and yet we've got nothing more to talk about?
Isn't there more depth to it than teasing and making me the butt of your jokes?
Maybe you see me no more than just a classmate...
Maybe it ain't a mutual friendship...
Is there more to these relationships than meets the eye?
I dunno...
It all seem so plastic...
I am having a headache from deciphering your actions and speech...

Funny how we are family yet we don't hold a real conversation...
Funny how I dislike meeting up with you all...
Funny how I feel so inferior to all of you, when in fact I feel superior before I meet up with you...
You are always comparing results, comparing this and that...
How I dread CNY reunion dinners...
I dunno...
It is such a farcical experience each time...
I am having a headache from the thoughts of meeting you all...

I just simply want some peace and quiet...
I wanna stop striving to meet up to your silly little expectations of me...
I wanna let it all go...
I wanna let it all out...
I dun wanna feel like this at all...
I dunno...
It comes down to whether I am having a headache afterall...
I am having a headache thinking of these...

Should take some paracetamol...
Prayer
And
Rest
Always
Cause
Every
Thought
Aim
More
Onto Our
Lord Jesus

Focus on Him alone...

Sometimes I feel like I am too distracted...
Too distracted by the rights and wrongs set by the world...
Too distracted by just doing the right things...
Too distracted by the end result...
Too distracted by the way things are the way they are...

Sometimes I feel that I lost my focus...
As much as I try to focus...
As much as I tell myself to keep focused...
As much as I am ready to put my heart and mind into doing it...
As much as I tell myself to focuse, I just can seem to fully focus...

Sometimes I think I have lost it...
Lost the essence of it...
Lost the enjoyment of the process...
Lost the joy that comes with it...
Lost everything that is suppose to mean something...

I know what I need to do...
I know what needs to be done...
I know what it is that keeps distracting me...
I know full well that it is God whom I should focus on...
Yet despite all the knowledge, I still feel like I am failing...

I am failing to keep my focus on Him...
I am failing to do what needs to be done...
I am failing to do what I need to do...
I am failing because I keep getting distracted...
Stupid lies of T.E.O. get out of my head!!!!

I am not a failure...
I am a princess of God...
I am a Lily-white princess of God...
I am a precious child of God...
I am ME...

ME shall keep my focus on my God alone...
ME shan't be distracted by the lies of T.E.O....
ME shall keep my cool when taunted by T.E.O...
ME shall pray and keep my focus on God...
ME shan't subcumb to T.E.O's bish-bashing on my faith...

because ME GOD is a...
WONDERFUL OMNIPOTENT OMNISCENE FAITHFUL EVERLASTING GENTLE GRACIOUS MERCIFUL LOVING GOD!!!!

He died for me on the big ugly cross...
He chose to do so because that is the ONLY way possible...
He chose to do so because He loves us soooo much...
He died for you and me with a painful double death...
Only because HE loves us...

So my focus shalt be on Him and Him alone!!!!

Pish Posh

What is the world coming to? I just can't seem to understand it with my limited brain space... I am beginning to think that quite a handful of the guys of this nation are becoming more and more ungentlemanly, irritating and they are definitely getting on my nerves!!!! Gosh... God why are these men so unlike You?

There are 3 reasons to this particular ranting... Allow me to list them down:

1. Ungentlemanly...
Imagine going to class, there aint enough mats for that particular class... The only 2 guys in my class happily sits down and starts questioning me about my faith and making fun of my God... Lecturer enters, asks us to get the mats from downstairs... These 2 guys allowed 2 girls to go and get those mats that weigh a good 5kg per mat up 4 levels, while they relaxed on the mats already in the classroom... Gosh!

2. Irritating...
Don't you get it when a girl asks you to stop your nonsense and keep quiet?
Don't you get it when a girl just don't wanna talk to you?
Are you that dense?
Please get it into your thick skull that when girls ignore you or give you a stern look, no matter how sweet the girl can be, just shut up and leave us alone!!!!
Sometimes, we don't need to say much to show our intelligence... But you just show how foolish you are when you blabber on and on... Just keep your mouth shut and you would be deemed wise... Think all the WPs in the world should just go read Proverbs and learn a whole lot of wisdom that God has granted... Wise up you irritating male species of homosepians...

3. Getting on my nerves...
Oh you... Why must you keep challenging me with regards to my faith? So you are a catholic... Not a very good catholic I must say... But must you keep on *#%%ing me off with all your not so nice and very rude insinuation that my God ain't real? That my faith is wrongly placed? Who are you to judge and who are you to comment on me? Pish Posh... Get lost... And shut the &e(( up!!!! You may not have a faith, but why go around destroying others' faith? Be an aethist, a non-believer whatever... Just stop all your insinuations... I need not defend my God, He is a wonderful God who can defend Himself full well... And if He says that the end of the world is not yet here... It is not yet here... Go read the bible yourself... You so called catholic...

Yeah I was upset with the guys from my class... Upset with them using Jesus Christ's name in vain... Upset with these kind of men of today... Where have God's gift to women gone? Well they are either married or attached or at the moment couldn't be bother... So I guess this is a rhetorical question... Well... Whatever...