It's been a while since I've last blog... Somehow, the weeks seem so long!
Okay... A few thanksgiving!!!!
1st of all... i must thank God for the successful run of The One-Sided Wall... the whole run has been an emotional journey... and i must say, i've yet to really come out of Theresa completely... part of me still wants to hold on to this character... it is a little hard to let go... but i gotta... gotta let go and play mother and marcie for my next performance - Pan-Island Expressway by local playwright Chong Tze-Chien... a rather political piece... but it is making me think of the political climate of Singapore... why does it appear that the youths of today do not want to have any part of it... are we de-politicalised? are we simply indifferent to it or do we just not care? made me think about this a lot the past few days...
next... i finally went to do the house-visit at my member's home... her mum's down with cancer... but i claim in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that His blood has healed... He is Jehovah Rapha and i know He has healed my member's mum, just that through this period He is teaching the family something... so once they have learned the thing that God wants to teach them and draw the family back to Him, healing will come to aunty... and that her two daughters will learn to love the Lord...
also... i wanna thank God that my girls are growing... quite happy to see them apply the word in their lives... it encorages me that they are growing... (or am i just being delusional?) but i choose to believe that my "daughters" are growing in their walk with our God... but am glad that they are coming regularly and paying attention to God's word during the cell... though they do make my heart break from time to time... it's moments like these that i find it all worthwhile...
Thank God for the study kakis... study sessions are on regularly now... makes me really mug for my theoretical subjects.... these study sessions have allowed me to spend time with my dear friends like Des n Von... feel like i've neglected them for a while... been to caught up with the things and events around me... and have not been able to tae time out and see the things i've neglected... the study sessions have allowed me to spend time being around them and we can catch up when we need a break from the readings... Also, the study sessions have seem to pull the subzone slightly closer... somehow, people who do not normally hang out with us are... the younger ladies in the family are coming to study... and crapping together with us "older people"... haha... a real good feeling...
wanna thank God for the friendships that have been built with my classmates... at least now i don't feel that alone in school... guess being in LASALLE is really different... compared to the uni folks who do not have a specific "class", i do... i guess there are its pros and cons... having a class gives you that sense of belonging... yet, there would definitely be people whom you wish they weren't there... without a class, there is probably less politics... i dunno... but having spent 2 years in LASALLE without having that kind of friendship and feeling rather alone... this academic year has been rather interesting... Thank God for this!!!
last night on the bus, von asked me a question... it set me thinking for most of the remaining of the night...
yes i do feel liberated! i think i probably am finally able to let go and let God in this area of my life le... not mulling over it... not worrying about it... and not thinking too much into everything... the bigger challenge is probably ahead... but for now i think i have let it go... finally see that there is no point in thinking too much over it anyway... nothing much i could do... so i just gotta let God do His thing... work His miracles... haha...
and yes... been thinking about what Mel said the other day on the bus... (i have a lot of meaningful conversations on buses... probably that's why i love taking the bus!) and yeah... i need to reassess my behaviour... haha... need to retain that mystery... i've been too much like an open-book... people can just read me like a book and sorta think they know the ending after the first few pages... was thinking about it and yeah, realise that by doing so i get mis-judged in the earlier stages of a friendship... and this image may not be altered after they know me better... cos the label is there already... i guess, i simply have to let myself not appear so strong all the time... i have to just be a little dependent on others more... to let them feel that i need them too... or else i'll end up the independent woman, who has to carry the weight of the world on her shoulder alone with God, without the support of the family of God around me... cos i don't appear to need it... so yeah... i guess, i do need to really let go of the strong persona i have... and be a little needy... heehee...
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