STATEMENT |
This past few weeks have been one hectic week... G12 conference 2 weeks back... Production last week... Everything have been so overwhelming! gosh felt like i had no space to breathe... But anyway who am I to complain? I chose this beaten yet less taken path... I chose to be who I am today... So yeah...
No more complaining, cos God didn't make me a complaining whiny loser... He made me to be more than a conqueror... He made me HIS Princess... And I'm loving it... 
*Muahahahahaha....*
I actually enjoy being busy, though I was there were days I could just laze around and not bother much about anything... But I guess, I am just one workaholic, who can't stand not doing much... Haha... Geez... I remember this comment made about me... It goes something like that I think...
"She is a workaholic... Cannot la... Later she don't eat and sleep how?"
Haha... When my friend told me about this comment made about me I thought how true... To me idle hands are the devil's workshop... So I am not going to allow T.E.O to build his workshop at my expense... That's why I guess I keep myself this busy... So as busy as I get... I am so looking forward to the retreat at BATAM!!!!! Yahoo! So exciting...
The G12 conference was simply humbling and supernatural... The first night... Pastor Cesar Castellanos prayed for physical healing... I went down to receive the healing as I was suffering from a chronic sinusitis... As he prayed over the multitudes, I simply smelt this fragrant aroma... A sweet scent that was so soothing... The next thing I knew, I was slain... Ha! And the best part, no one caught me... So I fell and landed on the person behind me who simply moved away and I hit the floor rather unprotected... The healing was simply an awesome manifestation of God's grace... I was healed and He did it... I was simply in such awe that as pastor said who has a testimony to share come forward... And having the stories of the woman with an issue of blood and the ten lepers in my mind, I went forth to testify of God's grace... I so did not want the glory of God to leave me and not have the complete healing... Haha... So KS of me... Still I say GOD IS GOOD!!!! The next time I felt God's presence ever so strongly was on the saturday sessions... As we prayed against the building of the casiNO... I could feel the church all fired up once more... And also I could feel God smiling down at His children as He sees the compassion that we have for the nation... His chosen nation, the antioch of asia... I could really feel how Jesus would feel and I wept hard for this country I call my home... Later when Apostle Khong (my favourite senior pastor) was praying for the heavens to open and for His Holy Spirit to decend on His people and I was simply touched and thus was slain again... Haha... This time, I fell on this big guy, according to WY... She told me she would catch me if I were to be slain again by the Holy Spirit... But seriously, she is so small... Haha... I would have flatten her... But according to her, I fell back onto this big guy, who very calmly placed me down onto the floor, but I very weirdly went to a fetal position... Haha... As I awoke, I felt someone stepping on my hair though... No matter how much I tried to make this person aware, she just refused to budge... Anyway, she stepped on my head a little and thus the bump, and I had to slowly pull my hair out from under her feet to prevent any hair loss... But nonetheless, God has been very gracious to me to allow me to even be in His presence... The best part about it is that I need not do anything about it...
He has long approve of me, because I am His beloved child... 
I bought a flag... A flag to twirl and dance with to praise God... For He has blessed me with the talent of dance... I want to dance my heart out for God... Yet, when Pastor William said certain things during congre, I felt my defensive spirit coming up... At which, I prayed and casted it out as I confessed to Mel about the feelings I have... It is an amazing thing God has done in me... I guess I have been moulded more in the area of humility and checking my heart as I grow more aware of my personal intentions... I guess this is what is called growth... Growing in the Lord is easy... I know it cos it happened to me! I simply pray for a more humbled heart... The thought of joining the celebration ministry has been coming and going... But I don't think I am ready... In the past, I guess I would have just told Mel I wanna join immediately... And in the past she reasoned with me why not to join... She has always been so concern with my abilty to cope... I guess it is not so much the ability to cope but more like would I burn out... In the past I guess my heart wasn't right... But now, it is no longer important to me whether or not I am dancing/singing for God onstage at celebration services... I can do the same down below with everyone else and God will still receive the praise and honour... Now the meaning and understanding I have of God has dispelled most of the pride in me... I simply pray for a humble heart... And God hears...
He is just soooooo good...
When I clasp my hands in prayer, God opens His to answer... 
How true!
Production week has been one fun week... Rehearsals, bumping in and the works... The reviews from lecturers and peers after the showing was the best... They felt the truth and were deeply touched... Though some of them felt that it was depressing, it was a feeling we had wanted to invoke... So yeah! We succeeded... *Muahahahahaha....* This production also helped me appreciate the meaning of my life as God has planned even more... It is liberating and I think I am even more comfortable with who I am right now than before... It is surreal and fascinating... And I think I've let go of certain baggages and learnt more about myself... This has been one painful and truthful journey... Indeed, the truth will set you free... The production also allowed me to peek into my non-Christian peers' lives... And understand why they are who they are... It allows me a greater avenue to pray more specifically for them... It is a case of "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Yet knowing that I could be just like them, I dare not judge...
Just started writing a play... Somehow, I realised that I just can't seem to defer away from BGR!!! Gosh... Anyway this play is entitled TRUE LOVE WAITS... Haha... So chick flick sounding... *Muahahahahaha....* But in any case, it is a play based on Christian values... I had always wanted to write something for God, and for His people, but haven't really sat down and start writing.. So last night I finally started... It sounds a little crappy... But it's only the 1st draft! So whatever... Will edit it later... Now it is the conception of it only... Haha... All the classes in school is paying of huh? Playwrighting... Directing... Acting... When this play is completed I am so going to cast and direct it... But for now, I shall just continue writing it... Hopefully it maybe good enough for church use... In any case, I shan't put my hopes too high up... Afterall, I am doing this for God and for the fun of it... Haha... 
Went down to PJC today to visit my lecturers whom I haven't seen since last november I think... Had a chit-chat session with Mr Yeo... He has been my teacher for the longest time... He was my primary one teacher and later when I was in JC, my literature lecturer... We go a long way back... And he actually kept everything from back then... I got back a photo of me! So amazing! Haha... Then there was the class newsletter from back in 1991... Haha... It was simply surreal... And to think I was just complaining how I got no childhood cos I got no photo of myself from those carefree days... Haha... How God answers prayers...
MY GOD IS AN AMAZING GOD...
He shows His love in so many different way... I felt so loved... 
Then I went to give the surprise to Mr Eddie Koh... Not much of a surprise la... He saw me from afar and called out my name... I sat in for his GP class, and realised how times have changed... The students aren't as discipline as those of my time... Haha... Sounding so ancient... But yeah, this batch seems to be giving him a lot of heartache... Yet, sitting in his class, God showed me He remembers I have a paper on Wednesday, of which He provided the answer to through this GP lesson... Haha... Though it was only one sentence, I felt so blessed cos it summed up all that I have to say! And I was still fumbling with it yesterday... Haha...
MY GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS... (It is so humbling...)
Went to FMSS today too... Went to return the DVD from 2001... So many donkey years ago... Haha... Anyway, by God's grace He sent an angel to school too... So I didn't feel so out... Haha... I messaged Dale and he happened to be at Holland and the best part, he drove! So yeah got a ride home to change my soaking shoes.. Haha... God loves me... And He looks out for me... Haha... I feel so blessed... Talk to Dale and he told me about how the way to go for alumni is to commit it all to God and not do it the way we used to... It was simply amazing, as I have been having dreams of things of the past, how things seem to be coming to a closure and God is telling me that when we commit things into His hands and surrender our all, we will be more at peace.... And He wanted to give me peace... FAW had always been at the back of my head... I had always wanted to use it as a platform to reach out to those unsaved but know of God and His grace... I had wanted to serve God through this place... Yet I realised that I could do nothing cos I was doing it with my own strength... And did not surrender it to Him... This time around, with what Dale spoke about, I felt that indeed, I need to surrender my all to God, and not do it on my own... It is heartening to see this brother-in-Christ being so obedient to the voice of God nowadays... Just as all my sisters in my "direct" spiritual family spur me on with their testimonies... Hearing this good friend and brother share about God's impact on his life is a joy...
Faith, it rubs off and onto others...
So have faith, those of you who think that you have little... Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains... So simply believe!
I so wanna make music for God once again... And I wanna do it together with friends in the band, bringing glory to God and His love to those who have yet to know Him!
"...with a mighty hand... His love endures forever"
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