Rough terrain ahead...

The past few days have been tough... Really need time off to just think things a little... It hadn't been easy handling my own expectations and reality... Coming out from an interview with verbal agreements that I would start work on a project basis, while on probation... Only to receive an email the next day to be notified that I hadn't been offered the position... Its tough... The 24 hours after receiving the news were the hardest I think... Every time I got asked about it, when I think about it, I wouldn't be able to control my emotions and just breakdown... I didn't want to get out of the house, I just watched comedies and sleep...
Being forced out of the house on Wed to teach did me good though... Having shut myself out for one day, crying and dealing with my emotions... It diverted my thoughts away from the things that had caused me to be upset... Bought a pint of Hagen-Daz Melon ice-cream from the mart and ate 3 scoops of it... Finished the rest of the pint the next day... Guess comfort food does comfort me quite ok... Hmm... I'm feeling much better now... At least I'm not crying over the thoughts now.... But didn't join Val to lead cell cause I wasn't feeling up to it still... I still need the time-off to sort out my thoughts and feelings...
Got a call from Dale today... Needed to talk about FAW... What he told me shocked me quite a bit... Didn't realise things wasn't going very well during the past few months... Guess they all thought I was too busy to bother... But am disappointed at how somethings were handled... I still can't believe that that person did all that... It could have just ruined everything that everyone else was trying so much to rebuild... I know that they all thought that I was busy and didn't want to disturb me too much... However, the audacity of this person to not even inform me about the meetings is a little upsetting... I am after all still the secretary of FAW... Have been and would still be if not for this person... I'm sorry Martin for having been so busy, but how could it be that the person we've tasked with covering my duties have put you in such a position and yet you didn't call me for help? You silly boy... But I guess whatever that has been done is done and we can't reverse time to rectify it... We've all gotta learn from our mistakes and move on...
With my life, I've decided to move on... If this organisation doesn't require my services, I just have to move on and know that I'm just not suited for that position... God has better plans for me and His ways are definitely higher than my own... I just have to be patient and see where the Lord leads... When He closes one door, there's always another door to be open... Or at least He'll leave the windows open... I'm sure as confused and lost as I have been feeling the past few days, I will be able to find my way soon... His promise to me is that when I call to [Him], [He] will answer [me] and tell [me] great and unsearchable things [I] do not know... Jeremiah 33:3... My God will never lead me to a dead end... He will make a way, when there seems to be no way...