ちょうどYvonneをValerie のために。

はじめまして、レぎなです。づおぞよろしくおねがいします。
ともだちYvonneに日本語をおしえてもらった。
Valerieに日本の検査が明日ある。私は彼女と彼女が検査のために調査するようにあった。
これは日本語でblogging 私を得た。
YvonneをValerie 、私に日本語を教える為にどうもありがとうございます。

Just another insane babbling...

This is driving me a little insane... Thank God for the work and activities that would take my mind off this issue... I think I have been harping on this issue for far too long... Was talking to Val about it just now... Concluded that the desire for me to settle down is there, but I am denying it's existence by numbing my feeling to it and silencing it with thoughts that it won't happen... Why have chosen to ignore my feelings, my desire? I guess it probably have a lot to do with society's perceptions... I just feel that I am not good enough for the guys around me... I don't know if this is an inferiority complex... But I just think that I am too engross with work to sufficiently pay attention to my potential partner for life... It won't be fair if he is the one constantly giving to me and I am too busy to spend time with him etc... Hmm... My dilemma... On one hand, I desire to have a boyfriend who is a potential husband, date to see if things would work out, get married and have kids eventually... All before I turn 30... On the other hand, I don't think I am able to achieve this desire... Sigh... What to do? What to do?
Apart from the fact that I am focusing on building my career at the moment, I do think I might be ready for a relationship... Being busy with work is simply an excuse to escape from looking at reality... Oh well... I've done pretty well not being in a relationship for so long... A couple of years more might not kill me that badly... Hmm... Allow me to dwell in self pity for a moment... Sigh... Que sara sara, whatever will be will be... The Lord will work His plans...

理想与夢想。。。

最近老是觉得被爱和恋爱离自己很远。
在我忙于工作时，我似乎忽略了一些朋友，和他们接触的时间渐渐的减少了许多。
我想我很有可能是个工作狂吧。一投入与工作时，可以把一切都忘掉专注于工作，一直到完成了才会去理会一切。或许我太task了吧，不懂得怎么balance人与事吧。
我的老板成说过我是属于那种先把事业基处打好了才会去谈恋爱的一个人。回想起他那一番话，或许说的也有他的道理。
我想我那一个想在三十岁前结婚生子的欲望泡汤了。事业刚刚才起步，都还没有稳定。我觉得这一刻的我是一个不懂得付出的自私鬼，不值得爱。很多人都说，爱情来时是无法抵挡的。我想我的理想与梦想终久存在于理想于梦想，处于不可能在进期间发生的一件事。說到來，我想我只能听天由命，该来的终就戏来的。问题只是迟早而一。

Transitions..

Am going through one of the major transition in life I guess... I sorta went full time at this particular drama company, Les Thespians Drama, towards the end of June... Prior to that, I was made project co-ordinator for a couple of projects... Some how, as I continue my work in this particular company, I feel satisfied... Maybe it is because of the fact that my bosses are nice people who see the potential in me and not what I have achieved... They both have a generous spirit, giving beyond themselves... Though working for them maybe stressful at times, it is because I want to give over and above my 100% as my bosses have put in that amount of effort first... Unlike with some of the other companies I've worked with, this is one company who values their employees and seek to help them improve, and the bosses work damn hard...

Another reason could be that I work well with my one and only other full time colleague, this American Chinese Indian called Michael... (We sorta started being full-time in the company together) Though the company is not new, the concept of having full-timers besides the bosses is... It is rather amazing how well we work together... The two of us work hard together for the better of the company because we really see the sacrifices made by our bosses... Anyway, a more amazing thing is how well I click with his girlfriend Cheryl... Cheryl and I can go on forever... Haha...

Many projects are coming up and it simply spells B-U-S-Y for me... The mammoth task that I am in the process of is the cleaning up of the office-store... The place is cluttered... (Sorta like the condition my room is perpetually in...) So before Mike and I can begin using the office proper, we need to get the clutter out of the room... Thus, we have been clearing and cleaning the seemingly impossible... Because of my administrative skills, I am tasked with inventory... Haha... An even more impossible task... Haha...

Apart from the mammoth task of cleaning up the office space, I am given a few other projects to take care of... A few of which has just concluded, but the paperwork is just beginning... Also am going into school to teach and facilitate on behalf of the company...

I am busy, but at least every day is a new challenge... I enjoy the challenges my job brings... It tires me out, but I am simply relishing the moments of accomplishments... There are many plans my boss have for Michael and I, by the looks of it, we are going to be super busy in the following months... I just can't wait for the challenges that will arise and overcoming it will be sweet success...

Guess the bottomline is that some transitions are essential and in this case definitely worth it...

愛

讀了大頭芬的世界，有一段文字讓我差一點掉淚。

“愛一個人不一定要擁有﹐但擁有一個人就一定要好好去愛他。你的肩上有蜻蜓嗎﹖”

有時候，我們會 take for granted 周圍的人。我們會 neglect 他們，沒有好好的珍惜他們。但是，一但他們從身邊離去時，才後悔沒好好的去愛他。我不只是在說 bgr，而是每一段 relationship ﹣ 朋友之間的友益、男女之間的戀情、家人之間的關心。。。

因為有愛，所以是他的朋友或親人。因為愛一個人，所以要那個人好好的活下去。因為愛一個人，所以要他開心。愛。對麼些人來說，是一個長挂在嘴邊的字。對另些人來說，是一個很難說出口的字。每個人表達愛的方法都不同。有些人，莫莫地愛。有些人，豪放地愛。個有千秋。

我。。。不是很懂得愛。

我想，我是那种不常表達愛的人吧。對一些人而言，在他們眼里，我會是個對愛滿豪勱的一個人。但我不覺得我是。我不懂得愛，也不敢常式去愛。我怕受傷害，也怕會傷害道別人。我覺得我已經 take for granted 我周圍的人。

我還有資各去愛与被愛嗎？有嗎？

很冒頓，但我覺得有時候我做到了“愛一個人不一定要擁有﹐但擁有一個人就一定要好好去愛他。”我想我是一個看到他人開心，我就開心的一個人。

我的朋友你快樂嗎？

In the midst of packing...

I'm in the midst of packing my room... Having been saying that forever... But this time I am serious about getting the trash out of my room... Been a karang guni (rags and bones person) for too long... My brothers have been naming my room a dog's kennel... My parents have been nagging me to pack up... This seems to never end... Shall put a stop to it before I get any busier... Made some progress... Love my shelves... Heehee...

A tough call to make...

Have been rather blessed by this company that I am working for... Because our boss treats everyone like family, the company is very family like... We're there for one another no matter what time of the day... I am grateful for all that my boss and the company is doing for me... The stabillity and trust he has given me... Thank God for this company...

However, as I get into this company, I find myself to be in a rather tight position... It all start with this one project, which due to sheer coincidence or fate, I was not originally casted in but was later on casted into the role... I felt bad initially as the role was originally supposed to be played by a friend of mine, however, because she couldn't make it for the first read and I could I was casted over her... Back then when I was casted, I told my bosses that my schedule is booked for that day, but I could rearrange my schedule if they insisted on using me... After a few phone calls here and there, I confirmed that I could do it... So I was on board for that project... My second with this company (did one with them last July)...

I know I have found favour in my bosses' eyes as they confirmed me for another project that would tour the schools... I think my bosses knew that they could trust me to tasks after observing me work... Thus, after that fateful project last month, I was sorta "promoted" (a term used by my close friend-colleagues in the company) to project co-ordinator... It is a test from my boss to see if I am who he thinks I am... Would I be able to be of help to his company... However, I so totally did not expect that I am the one who tell someone that his/her services would no longer be required by the company for that project...

I am one who value my friends... I did not want to have the friendship ruined... However, due to certain incidents, I was tasked to tell a friend and colleague that the company no longer require the person's services anymore... I had to do it... It took me long and hard to do so... I ponder and ponder incessantly over it... So much so that it was just after 12 noon when I was told that this person has been fired... But I could not bring myself to message the person till about after 8 in the night... I had to do it because it is my job to do so... Yet, I knew that it would bring that person certain pain...

For a moment, I had to be completely professional and detached from that friendship and lay that person off... It was one of the most horrible moment of my life.... Yet, if I did not do as I was tasked, my own head was on the chopping block... Having been entrusted with the many projects by my bosses, I had to do what I deemed right at that point of time... Put aside all personal feelings and focus on the task, yet be tactful all at the same time...

Our friendship is probably now rather ruined... However, if the person is unable to be professional about the situation, there is nothing much I can do... I just have to be professional when it comes to work... I need to draw my lines clear... I have financial needs, which I cannot ignore...

Been a lot busier of late... With rehearsals for 2 shows and tuition, as my student is having her mid-year, I haven't found time to breath or even write an entry... Am really sleepy now... But still waiting for my hair to dry before hitting the pillows... Really need to find the time to pack my room... It's in a limbo now... Neither packed nor super messy... Am in the midst of redoing my room, after 5 years... I think I am liken the windows in the sense... Cos it's been five years and now they have Vista... Was watching the mac adds and it really tickled me... Haha... http://www.apple.com/getamac/ it is really smart how Mac spoofed the arrival of Vista... Hmm... Naughty but really clever... Kudos to the people at apple... Love my apple... =)

Would love to blog more... But I guess, would blog more after the conference with Jackie Pullinger at Ministry with the Poor... Hope to catch the heart of God more and receive her anointing of compassion... Can't wait... =)

New phone...

I finally changed my phone...
It's this sleek Samsung SGH-D900 a.k.a. Ultra 12.9...
Love my 3.0 megapixel camera in my phone...
And to begin my blogging with photos taken with this lovely phone...
I took some photos of the cakes served at this fast food cafe and their double chocolate frappe...
Hmm... I simply am falling in love with my new phone...

The only good cake serve I think... Opera...
(Ok la... Not as bad as the rest... In fact it is quite good...)


The so-so oreo cheesecake...
(Er... No comments la... Still prefer the oreo cheesecake at Starbucks...)


The not very nice cheesecake...
(A little too soft... Prefer the cheesecake at Coffee Bean...)


The double chocolate frappe...
(I still prefer the drinks at Grapevine...)

喜欢一个人有时是幸福的，但有时是痛苦的。
被爱是幸福的还是痛苦的呢？ 我觉得被爱是否幸福因个人而定。
如过爱你的人你也喜欢，那么被爱是幸福的。如过爱你的人你一点好感也没有的话，那么被爱将会是痛苦的。
时间地利人合能撮合一对情侣，或者把一段美丽的友谊给摧毁了。

life is good...

haven't been so happily busy le... for a while, i had been busy but unhappy... but now, i am happily busy... it has been awhile since i have acting jobs, so being engaged for 2 shows (1 private dinner show & 1 school tour) is a refreshing change from the mundane teaching of drama... i have longed to return to stage and this is definitely a good change of momentum... will enjoy it while it lasts...
i am exhausted from the mind grueling rehearsals, but i am happy... haven't been this engaged in the mind already... haven't been thinking as an actor for far too long... am a little rusty... but am glad it is all coming back to me now... i still have it in me to survive challenging rehearsals... still have it in me to memorise my lines... i am feeling alive in the aspect of work... had been rather "dead"... i am glad! =)

a random quiz i did... something to do with the key to my heart...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

p.s. i miss you...

this is too all my friends out there whom i haven't met up with since forever...

dear friend,
i miss you. we've moved on with our lives and now our paths don't seem to cross anymore. i am sorry for having taken you for granted, for even being angry with you at times, but i am glad we always work things out... eventually... =)
thank you for being my friend. i thank God for you who have crossed my path. you were special to me at then, and you are still special to me now. it's just that our schedules clash so much that we hardly ever just hang out anymore. besides, we are at such different phases of our lives that it might even seem a little weird to go back to days of yore.
i do wonder how you are doing now. questions like: are you happy now? are you contented with your life? are you exhausted? do you have someone special in your life now? etc...
when we were younger, we shared your joys and tears. now that time has flown by us, things just ain't the same anymore. i do not wish that time would stand still, neither do i wish that we could return to those times in our lives... but i do sincerely wish you well my friends. i would like to continue to share my life with you, i would like to know how you are now... i hope that you are doing well...
no one knows who we will meet tomorrow, no one knows if we would ever meet up again... but i know my God is watching over each of us... and i know that i will meet you once again in heaven (as long as you believe in Him)... =) until then... auf wiedersehen
with love,
regina

旅程

每個人的生命就如一段旅程。從起點到終點，這段旅程由自己定。
在這個旅程中，誰會上車誰會下車都是一個迷。我們不能掌控誰在生命的那一個站上下車。
到了該下車的時候，就不得不下車，要不然就會過站、錯過機會。
生命中的人与事也一樣，從生命裡的起點開始，進出的人也不少。
有些人會陪你一段很長的路，有些可能在下一站就下車了。
下車的人我們也許再也不會在見面了，也許下一站又會再度相遇。
人生的旅程就是那麼奇妙，很多事都不在我們的控制范圍內。
這段旅程有時是孤獨的，有時是熱鬧的。有時你會想靜靜一個人走這一段路，而有時會想要人陪，不想單獨走下去。
生命就是如此，勇敢的走下去吧！
不要太在意明天的路會是怎樣的，努力的把今天過得最充實，把握和週圍的人所相處的每一分每一秒，不要讓自己有後悔的機會。

claims of His promises!

these are the things that i am believing for in my child like faith... though the items requested not very child-like... heehee...

financial providence...
1. more job offers, a permanent job with a theatre company would be good, a stable income... (life as an actor is unpredictable)
2. a new phone with camera and video functions... (my current phone is dying)
3. financial freedom for my family...

spiritual providence...
4. deeper relationship with the Lord... (go deep)
5. salvation of my family... (look far)
6. improved relationship with my spiritual daughters, both already here and still wandering... (ask big)
7. find my 12... (ask big)

physical/ health providence...
8. a healthier slimmer body... (not asking too much right? afterall i do have a gym membership...)
9. freedom of diseases for my family... (no longer to be binded by the spirit of depression...)

emotional providence...
10. better emotional quotient... able to be more sensitive to the people around me...
11. fruit of the spirit reflected in my life through the way i handle my emotions... (actually linked to spiritual providence la...)
12. when the Lord knows I am ready, He will provide the One... in the meantime, help me be patient and not lose hope...

i shall not ask for too much yet... will continue to think and add to the list... but i believe that these things will be added unto me... for the Lord is Jehovah Jireh... my provider!

such a mess...

okie... i have got a few shows lined up, which means i am rather employed right now...

however, because of some misunderstanding that is linked to my current state of employment right now, i think one of my friend/colleague is rather upset with me and the whole situation...

well you see... initially, they had wanted her to play the role i am playing now... but after the first read, i was selected instead... i didn't even know i was selected until the second read, so therein lies the problem... a big miscommunication i think... i thought that she would be there for the second read, i mean after all, they did say it was a second audition and they were auditioning for ah kong too... i didn't realise that this friend of mine won't be there until that morning, when i checked my email and realised that she had been left out of the mailer and later the confirmation that she hadn't been informed when i picked our friend up for the rehearsal that morning... later on, after the rehearsal, our bosses were talking about another play that i am involved in... then came the second shocker for the day... they were going to drop her out of this play too, because her "schedule" clashed... i am not even sure if our bosses informed her of this change of events...
we all have our pride, and to be dropped from two shows just because the bosses assumed that you are not flexible in your schedule isn't fair... if i were in her shoes, i would definitely be jumping up and down in anger too... but i guess, i won't allow it affect me too much after all la... cos i mean, this is how this industry work... sometimes, you get many jobs, sometimes, you don't... we just need to learn to take things in its stride... to let go ba...

i would gladly swop places with her... however, i am not the boss and i don't have the last say... we are all waged actors... we don't really call the shots... until the day we do... we just have to be resigned to the fact that some days are better than others... we simply just have to let go and look forward to the next job available... such is life... you win some, you lose some...

i am simply thankful to God, that He has blessed me with these opportunities after a whole year...

life ain't fair... but God is good...

好久不見，我終於有話要說了。

有一段時期沒blog了，有一點不知到要寫什麼。
這一段時期很多事發生，有點太忙了，因此就少blog了些。
其時也好樣沒什麼好blog的，來來去去也就是那麼些事吧。

有時想想，把我的人生故事寫成一遍遍的文張，會有人要看嗎？
我的生活裡雖然有不少有趣的生活小品，但我不覺得有什麼只得一提的，有時還覺的有點乏味。
不過，讓我感恩的事件真的不少。而這些令我感嗯的事，我覺得我因該把它給blog下來。
從農利新年到見在，神的恩慈讓我從心低的感恩。

thank God for bringing me out of this vicious cycle...

Thank God for helping me see beyond this situation... Haha... what a relieve...

I have been holding on to this crush for nearly three years now I think... Aiya... Does it even matter now? Reflecting upon it though, I think I have been holding on to this crush for sooooooo long is simply because he has been the one constant guy friend in my life... I mean, of all the guys I have been hanging out with, this person has been a constant la... When people ask me what I see in him, I often have no answer... I guess this is what it means by "love is blind" or rather I feel, "infatuation is blind"... apart from the fact that this person is really mild mannered, there doesn't seem to be much qualities about him... Not that I am finding fault with him now that I have come to realise my infatuation... But I guess I was simply too blinded in the past to even notice his flaws... I thank God that I have been set free from this emotional entanglement that I have set myself in... I can now look at him and know that I do not like him in any ways what so ever, except on a basic friendship...

I guess, I really have to reassess my view on platonic friendships... I guess, there really can't be good close platonic friendships... The boundaries would be blurred after awhile... At least for my case it would... I am simply a girl who can develop likings for guy friends who become close friends after awhile, as long as they meet certain basic requirements... I would say that now, I am able to see the impending "danger" and distant myself when the friendship begin to become greyed...

I simply am thankful to the Lord that I am able to now know clearly what I want and be focused on it... Thank God that He has delivered me from one of my many weak spots... =)

大掃除... a.k.a. Spring Cleaning...

finally got down to what i would call spring cleaning la... rearranged the furnitures in my room... tried to declutter the clutter... haha... i doubt i can ever succeed in cleaning my room... i simply don't know where to start!
argh!!!!
well... i am amazed at what God uses to speak to me or teach me...
simply put... the Lord taught me another important lesson through my attempt to spring clean my room today...
decluttering one area doesn't mean that the clutter would go away, sometimes, we've just relocated the clutter....
we need to be a little "hard" hearted to throw out the useless things that is impeding the process...
when the time comes to let it go, just let it go... it's the same with sin and busyness of life...
another lesson learnt... =)
the cleaning is still on-going... think it'll take a few days, though my room is just about 4m by 6m... i should learnt to procrastinate less... heehee...

Amazing how God works!

Was just wondering how I should face Debbie's & Dhillion's 25 years old brother... And God's word tonight is an answer to my wondering...
The Lord is not pleased to see His children fighting among ourselves... I can see why too! 為何自相殘殺呢？We should not be fighting ourselves but the evil one... Why are we letting the evil one sow seeds of discord within the family and allowing him to win this spiritual battle? It is the evil one's plans to corrupt and perverse the relationships between family... It is his plans to prevent us, Warriors of Light, Children of God, from living a victorious life!
I will NOT allow the evil one to defeat me... Instead, I will defeat the evil one... I will put on the armour of God and be battle ready... I will remain unscath by the accusations... I will react with humility and love... The greatest weapon against accusation is HUMILITY! I don't need to win the argument for that moment, I simply need to win the person over through time....
Whatever the outcome, the Lord is definitely in total control... I simply just have to trust and obey, following the guidance of the Holy Spirit!